Eberth

My brother, never to be forgotten

Eberth,

It’s been over a year now since you left us, and the holiday season is here again without you.

I think about you often, and speak of you highly (as I always have). It seems like time passing would help ease the pain of losing you, but it still hurts a lot.

I still want to pick up the phone and call you for advice, guidance, or just to “shoot the breeze”, but then realize that I cannot.

The family will be getting together at our house this year, and you will be present with us in spirit; that I am sure of.

It’s amazing how the most unexpected things bring out thoughts about you. I see people on the train that look like you from a distance. As I get a closer look, they aren’t you. I reflect, I think about you, I miss you. You are always there, and always will be; in my thoughts and in my prayers. I love you bro’.

Love,
Your sis’
Jessica

A Poem by Eberth

As we go through life
and as I grow
forever, into never
your path and mine,
my friend
will always intertwine
you cannot escape it
but it is not a stranglehold
I will never forget you,
my friend
though our paths may physically part
as they always do
only to be rejoined
in an odd, unexpected way
no, I'll never forget you

Sean's remembrance

I would like to invite anyone who wishes to have their remembrance of Eberth posted to send me the text as a word doc attachment. You can send remembrances to jwb314@charter.net.

I know that we are all thinking about Eberth now that we are approaching 1 year since his passing. Here is the text that Sean sent to me:

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While trying to find a way to memorialize Eberth’s death a year later I discover that I cannot find words that will do it. His mind/spirit was so gigantic that I really only caught brilliant glimpses of his intellect and his efforts of fighting for social justice. He was a very dear friend and I truly miss that connection and support. He could be counted on in the good and bad times and would call me back to the greater good in myself. We traveled through life together since we were kids and he was like a brother to me. I’m glad he was there at my wedding 10 years ago. In tracing the ragged outline of the hole he left in my life when he left, I think I see a way of capturing part of what he meant to me. It’s very hard to see the whole unique thing that made his life Eberthian, because it kind of curves away from us; but trying to illuminate one aspect can show the bigger picture. One facet of Eberth that I dearly miss and anyone who knew him would recognize is his warm, generous, compassionate nature. He had a casual way of welcoming you into his life and his smile and laugh were infectious. He could engage you in awesome conversations that worked on many levels at once. I remember many late night party sessions where we solved many of the problems of the world, only to realize that the real problem was implementing the solutions. We didn’t have the power to make those changes ourselves, but fight the power we must! He was a great guy and I miss him a lot. Wish you were here.

Ashish's remembrances

Here is the text of Ashish's remembrances from the Memorial:

________________________

“Hey Shala.”  is a voice that I  look forward to hearing .  It is also a voice that all the Sens  have grown to love over the past six years.

“Shala” is an affectionate endearment in Bengali for brother in law. Our “Shala” is also special..

Like that eternal   Beatles classic, “Sha la la la,”  Shala – “you touch my heart ”-  all our hearts.   In many ways, “Shala” you continue to do so.

29th, September, the eve of my mother’s 77th birthday.  We heard the news that you had moved on a  few days earlier.  My wife - Munira,  my son -  Mikhail, and myself were yet to find a present for Ma. As we trudged along Bangalore’s   Mahatma Gandhi Road (on which you’ve walked   several times),  I despaired of finding the present of our choice. I can’t remember  ‘exactly’ what  I said at that point,   but my son told me that I should stop being “fulish.” Exactly  like you say: “fulish”.

I pointed this out to Mikhail .He pointed out that we should turn the corner. We did – in more ways than one. As we did , the magic happened. The elusive kaftan  beckoned  from a brightly lit shop window. It  looked so good , we decided to get a couple.

Thank you for that    special shared experience -  and for making magic on Ma’s birthday.

“Shala”/ Eberth was also special because he gave us the privilege of crossing borders . We assumed the mantle of the Alarcons for a single day , when he married Asha - my sister . According to the Indian/Brahmo custom of marriage , the bride and  groom are given away by members of their respective families. During the ceremony in Bangalore ,  that privilege came to Munira, Mikhail, my aunt and myself. We represented his family (Incidentally , he wore the Indian dhoti with aplomb). The rest is history –today, tomorrow, forever.

And so, importantly,  you , “Shala” are also brother.

In the six years or so that we’ve connected  - thank you , Shala, for so many shared experiences :

For    giving Mikhail a sense of ‘ ”Ecquadorial fun”
For   sharing  New Year’s Eve 2004 at Ferns with Munira and myself ,
For    the discussions which enabled us to cross borders – political , social , and familial.
For    helping  us to understand the wisdom of Ganesha and therefore Happiness.

There are so many more  experiences,” Shala,” but in this delineated time/space , I want  thank you for a very, very, special experience.

When we met at Fairview hospital in Minneapolis  in July 2006, you   mentioned that that you’d like to talk at length. (It was just before the stem cell transplant). I don’t know how much we talked , but thank you for giving me insights into  many languages – spoken and unspoken .

Thank you   for exemplifying courage and bravery under fire and demonstrating the power of now

Thank you for  helping me to believe that past, present and future are all one.
and  demonstrating that it is possible :

“To dream the impossible dream,
To right the un rightable wrong…..
To reach the unreachable star.

To follow that star …….
No matter how weary,
No matter how far. ”

Thank you God, for giving us Eberth.
Thank you, Eberth, for Being.

Salut.
Salaam.
Shakti.

Munira, Mikhail, Ashish      

Video

Ben and I apologize for not getting the video done. We had a serious technical problem with computer hardware. Anyone who wants a copy of the video, which has Eberth's acting exploits from Ben's films as well as stories from his friends, can email me at selikad@yahoo.com.

I will also try to arrange for friends to get together to view it, either at the house or in Hibbard Penthouse.

Again, I apologize.

Silent Auction Catalog

As promised, here is the link to the silent auction catalog: Catalog

If you can't attend but are interested in item, please see the instructions at the top of the catalog.

Memorial, 2pm on Saturday

Sorry for the confusion about the start time for the memorial.  It will begin at 2:00pm on Saturday at Schofield Auditorium.

Benefit

The Math and English Departments will be hosting a benefit to help Asha defray medical and related expenses.  The benefit will be held at Stella Blues this Friday (10/13).  Details are listed in the column on the right.  If you are unable to attend and wish to donate, you have several options:

• The silent auction catalog will be posted online this weekend and absentee bids will be accepted by email (more details later).
• A donation can be made by credit card by calling (toll-free) the University of Wisconsin-Eau Claire Foundation Office at 1-877-625-2473 or submitting your information via their secure webform.  You can either specify that you restrict your gift to the Help Fund (#1733) or the Eberth Alarcon scholarship.  Asha has indicated that she will put any leftover money from the Help Fund toward the scholarship.
• A check can be mailed to the English Department Office, Attn: Judy, Hibbard 405, University of Wisconsin-Eau Clairem Eau Claire, WI 54702-4004 or delivered directly to Judy in the office on the 4th floor of Hibbard.

If you have any questions, please email me (Kate Hinnant) at hinnanks@uwec.edu

Loving Eberth, Losing Eberth

Dear Family & Friends,

As some of you know, I am a very private person, but the hideous nature of Eberth's illness and the tremendous sustenance he and I derived from the love and support shown on this blog made me want to write in.  Having said that, I find I have no words to express the grief I feel at his passing.  Anything I try to write turns into a cliché, and, as you all know, Eberth was anything but a cliché!  In the close to nine years we shared together, Eberth's wonderful vitality, his keen intellect, and his passion for social justice brought a meaning to my life that I had never deemed possible.  I'd like this site to be a legacy to the spirit we all know and love and to encourage those of you whose lives he touched to write in and contribute to keeping his memory alive.

A Little Longer

Asha says that we need to wait a little longer before Eberth's up for phone calls, and it will still be a bit before he wants visitors.  But comments on the blog are always welcome.

Hold those calls!

Eberth continues to improve, but Asha said that he is so tired that it may be better to hold off on the phone calls until next week. 

Recovering Well

Asha asked me to post that Eberth' recovery has been progressing nicely for the last few days.  His immune system is rebuilding itself, and he's starting to regain some energy.  So phone calls are now welcome, and in another week he'll probably be up to having visitors again.

We're so glad to hear it, Asha.  We continue to hope and pray for both of you.

Quick Note

Asha asked me to let everyone know that Eberth can't have visitors for a while, because his immune system is suppressed.

Short Update

Theresa Kemp and I visited Eberth and Asha this past Saturday.  Eberth was very tired but still had the energy to joke around with us and the nurses.

The good news is that engraftment has taken place.  Most of Eberth's new blood has been produced by the new cord cells, and the rest shows no leukemic cells.  His white blood cell counts have also risen substantially, so the doctors let him out of the room with a mask on to walk a little when he feels like it.

Eberth and Asha, here in Eau Claire we're all hoping and praying for returning strength and future clear biopsies!

Long days

Whie they keep telling me how well I'm doing, The actual process is long and boring. Did I mention the boring?

Dias largos

Mientras siquen diciendome que estoy procediendo bien, el actual proceso es largo y aburrido. Ya mentione la parte de estar aburrido?